October 17th, 2018

I wrote this letter to myself, to give me strenght to keep dreaming, to keep thinking, to keep strong. 

Managua, october 17th, 2018

Tomorrow we turn six month since the April Revolution exploted. I think, that many thought that is was going to last just a few days, but a revolution never lasts just a few days. It is amazing how Nicaragua has been resisting, and how we have created surviving mechanism, despite of the restrictions that the government from Ortega-Murillo has been trying to impose us. The way we protest has mutated, just like the rest of our life did.

At the beginning, we use to take over the roundabouts and the streets, after that, barricades started to appear, so did the dams, the deaths, the missing people, the migration and with all of that, a 180° Degrees turn in our lives.

Daniel Ortega started calling all of us, the one that didn´t agree with him, terrorists. He started taken known people, friends, chavalas and chavalos (boys and girls), grandmothers and grandfathers to the Chipote prison. We started changing our names on the social medias and tried to catch the eye of the international media, because even foreing journalists where kick out of the country and the local media is still under threats.

I stop crying for a while, but the crying came back. After october 14th,  when many feminists women and young women were taken away for demonstrating at Camino de Oriente (popular place in Managua, Nicaragua). They were beaten and taken by the police. The crying came back and with it, many memories of the three years of my life in Nicaragua and the feeling  of lost that I’ve had in the last six months. I know that I will heal, but it will take time to accept everything that has happened. I also also know that one day I will overcome all the pain that I have felt during this time.


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